The Parent Perspective - November 2007

The Parent Perspective is a monthly feature where parents tell us how their families navigate today's media-saturated environment.

This month's Parent Perspective comes from Barney in Colorado. Barney is the father of two daughters -- Della (age 6) and Barry (age 9):

As I write this, I’m watching game 7 of the baseball playoffs between the Boston Red Sox and Cleveland Indians. The winner of this game plays our team, the Colorado Rockies. Whatever our family’s usual rules about media time, there are exceptions. This October Baseball season is a perfect example.

I let them watch their second DVD of the night so that I can watch this game. This means they’ve used over 3 hours of media just tonight, which is on top of the morning cartoons and the documentary we watched today. That leaves the total TV time for this snowy, wet Colorado Sunday at 5 hours.

Most weeks include school, piano, soccer, peer mediator, play dates, and lots and lots of sun for being outdoors. Aside from simply not having much time for media, we have family rules: TV is limited to 1 hour for 3 of the weeknights and 2 hours on Saturdays. Neither my wife nor I allow the kids to listen to the audio on commercials; we insist that they mute the sound. The kids are on the computer about 3 hours a week, watching videos, playing games, and using a webcam to talk to friends in the Netherlands. When I really think about it, even with the limits we enforce, the media time adds up.

My wife and I worry about what our girls see and hear in the media. The constant blitz on beauty, what foods to eat, what’s “cool”, and language can be troubling. We’ve already taught our inquisitive girls to question what they see. For example, we recently saw a poster at the video store for an adult horror film. Della wanted to know why bad things were happening in the poster.

I also know that my own media use affects the girls. I limit myself to the news, 60 Minutes, Meet the Press, and sports and I listen to public radio, but I realize that even these programs report stories that are more violent that I’d want my kids to hear. I watch science fiction and war movies and can still recall a moment when watching Lord of the Rings when Barry, then 7 years old, came in and saw some of the creatures and yelled “This is NOT appropriate for children!” I quickly turned it off.

I realize that the common thread in what I’ve written here is noticing just how much media my family uses when I stop to think about it. Learning about CMCH and using their website resources have helped me take notice of both the amount of media my family is exposed to and the kind of content we all see and hear.

Like pacifiers when our daughters were toddlers, we sometimes rely on the TV or computer to replace our task of engaging them. It is a constant work in progress to balance media and its role in our lives. It is not a simple task, but it is another challenge of parenting that I am committed to figuring out.

 

If you'd like to share your own experiences or suggestions in a Parent Perspective, email us at cmch@childrens.harvard.edu