The Parent Perspective -
July 2008

The Parent Perspective is a monthly feature where parents tell us how their families navigate today’s media-saturated environment.

This month’s Parent Perspective comes from Susana in Tewksbury, Massachusetts. She is the mother of three children, Tatiana (age 20), Stefan (age 16), and Leandra (age 9). Susana tells us about her family’s approach to reinforcing a positive body image for her children, which embraces their Cape Verdean and Portuguese heritage.

I want to encourage parents of young girls to educate their kids about media images and messages, particularly those in teen magazines. The media's representation of the "ideal body" is one of skinny women (typically white), which certainly does not represent most people's body type.For bi-racial teenagers, it is even tougher for them to feel good about their bodies because they struggle to find their own identity represented in the media. Our family witnessed our oldest daughter’s struggle with a negative body image as she found that images in the media portrayed a very different picture of women. Images of skinny girls with long straight hair helped to reinforce the unrealistic concept of what her body should look like.

While growing up, Tatiana struggled with her body shape and size, always wanting to be skinnier. Even though her pediatrician told her that her weight was within a normal range for her age, she struggled with her self-esteem. Tatiana not only had body dissatisfaction issues but also disliked her hair. Blessed with long curly hair, from early on she took to straightening her hair everyday because of what fashion trends showed.

Our family’s approach to Tatiana’s body image struggle was to develop good eating habits, to reinforce how beautiful she was, and to encourage her to look around her family and see a little of herself in all of us. We talked openly about our bodies, and acceptance of oneself was encouraged. We discouraged any viewing of media that had stereotypical racial images or bias toward women. We always welcomed her friends to hang out around our house because we wanted to stay involved in her life. Nowadays, Tatiana is in her second year of college and has finally come to terms with her body shape and size. Tatiana is doing amazingly well with her self-image and has embraced aspects of her heritage: in fact , she does not straighten her hair anymore!

My experience raising Tatiana has taught me lessons about media messages and cultural pressure to fit into an ideal body image, lessons that I am about to put in practice with my youngest daughter, Leandra. She will be turning 10, and I have already recognized signs of body dissatisfaction. Although Leandra is a thin young woman and does not have weight issues, she took cues from her sister, school friends, and the media about wthat her ideal body should look like. Recently, she has told me that she hates her hair and has asked me if I thought she was fat. How can I reinforce how beautiful she is?

I have learned that positive reinforcement is essential, all the time, every single day. I believe that parents of young girls can have a positive effect in helping teens with issues about their body image and embrace the idea that we all come in different colors, shapes and sizes. Ultimately, it is up to parents to guide their children to a healthy body image and to embrace their heritage.

If you'd like to share your own experiences or suggestions in a Parent Perspective, email us at cmch@childrens.harvard.edu